Motherhood – On Making Decisions

January 29, 2016



Most of you know I wear several hats—wife, mother, scientist, baker, photographer, calligrapher, budding entrepreneur, with motherhood sitting at the top of the list. That’s not to say I don’t give all the other roles the attention they deserve. I do (that’s another story), but my job as a mother is my number one priority. And from the moment I found out I was pregnant, it’s been all about decision-making. Some decisions are easy ones and some are much, much harder. But I lead and follow with my heart. I’ll always use reason, but I rely on my heart and what my intuition as a mother knows best and let that guide me.

The other week, a terrible accident happened to Laina at daycare and it went unnoticed and I wasn’t notified. I picked her up at the end of the day and her two front teeth were cracked off! And we don’t have any answers as to what happened. It wasn’t so much the accident that happened, but the fact that it went unnoticed and we weren’t notified. It called into question the quality of care our daughter was actually getting, compared to what we were expecting. And the fact that we don’t know how her teeth became cracked, we only think the worst. Was it preventable? Did a teacher hurt her? Did a student hurt her? We can only hope it was an innocent mistake, but without answers, it’s just a terrible feeling to have as a parent.  I mean…my daughter got hurt and no one was there to comfort her. I get that things are going to happen to Laina that are completely out of my control and she’s vulnerable to the world and will get hurt and I won’t be there. I know this. But there are expectations of daycare that weren’t met.

So we had to make the choice to pull her and change daycares. Seems like an easy choice, right? Not so much. I mean, she’s just making a linear switch to a new daycare.  Who’s to say something like this won’t happen and go unnoticed again? I highly doubt something like this would ever happen again, but I feel like we’ve lost confidence in this type of childcare setting. It’s a love-hate feeling, really.  I love that Laina has a little time away from home where she’s busy with learning activities, art and playing with her peers. But I also find that environment to be ran by young and inexperienced women and are often too “rowdy”. The fact that Laina is only part time gives me some feeling of relief and that she really does have the best of both worlds.

But to be brutally honest, I’m not excited at all to take her to the new daycare. I was and wasn’t excited to leave the previous daycare. There were some things I really loved about it, and things I would have liked to see different, but not everything in life (and daycare) is perfect. Ultimately, I DO think Laina is at an advantage being in daycare part time. She loves being around kids and I love that she’s social. I love that she’s sings songs, plays music, learns new things and makes adorable art every day.

I’m constantly weighing pros and cons and doing what I think is the best thing for her. Out of sheer principle, we couldn’t bring her back to her original daycare. Not to mention all trust was tossed out the window. Motherhood in general, will always throw crazy things your way and sometimes it’s easy and other times it’s really hard and you can only pray you’ve made the right choice. If not, accept the pitfall, learn from it and move forward.

This week with Laina home, we got pummeled with about 30 inches of snow! Too much snow to truly enjoy, especially with Laina refusing to wear her snowsuit. I did manage to bundle her up for some walks in the sunshine and she absolutely loved walking down the corridors of snow!  motherhood motherhood motherhood motherhood


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2 thoughts on “Motherhood – On Making Decisions

  1. Shalagh

    Dear Dianna,
    That is a horrid thing to have happen to your child. I am almost speechless. Yes it so seems that the mortar of motherhood is sel doubt and exasperation. She won’t remember it, And you’ll be making the right choice no.matter what you choose. Love to you and your little one. (Mine’s about to turn three and driving me bonkers.)

    1. Post author

      thank you Shalagh! yea….she’s totally over it and probably forgotten the event. Of course, hubby and I were raging for quite some time! hugs.


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